Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater – Discussion
Nothing is more heartbreaking than being cheated on. But will you forgive them, or will they do it again, or do they deserve forgiveness? People might argue about context, like B. was drunk, but isn’t that a lame excuse? Well, we wanted to hear what our readers thought, so we asked 100 people, both men and women, if they think a cheater is always a cheater.
71% of people said they believe people who cheat will relapse. That seems like a pretty big number, meaning trust seems to be being damaged. Additionally, we asked if you would forgive your partner for infidelity, and 93% said they couldn’t.
When we asked them if they cheated on themselves, the interesting answer was 18% said they cheated on themselves. So even though they wouldn’t forgive their partner, they have actually been guilty of the same crime in the past.
For those who answered “yes” we asked them what their reasons were and 50% (9 out of 18) said “youth” while 4 out of 18 said alcohol was a major factor.
We then asked respondents if they had been cheated on themselves and unfortunately 41% admitted to being cheated on by their partner which is shockingly close to half. Oh dear Britain, we need more fidelity! Of the 41 who answered “yes” they were asked the age at which it happened and there was a clear split with no one answering between 30 and 40, the numbers were between 20 to 30 and 40 to 50. It seems like fidelity is on the line in the thirties, I’m not sure how much to read into this given the figures but it’s a very interesting point!
One area we looked at was context. It’s so easy to say “once a cheater always a cheater” but how did they end up there? Infidelity is not usually so clear cut. You really need to start examining how they got into the cheating situation and what the contributing factors were. For example:
What was the state of the relationship when it happened?
Was there an active sex life?
Are you a compulsive liar? What was the cause of this?
Did they enter the relationship at the right time and with the right mindset?
What was the work-life balance like?
A sense that “something was missing” in the relationship
Is stress or frustration being channeled in the right direction? Some people may take out their anger on their partner and blame their partner for their unhappiness, even if unconsciously.
Feelings of insecurity or insignificance can actually have the opposite effect and cause someone to become unfaithful.
What is their psychological profile and mental health needs?
These are just some of the factors to consider. None of these are reasonable excuses, but rather interesting insights into the mindset of an adulterer. To determine if they will do it again, you need to fully understand why they did it in the first place and see if that issue has been addressed.
More importantly, can you move on and accept her again? If you hold them against you, the relationship cannot survive. It requires complete and absolute trust in each other, and it eliminates jealousy, but once trust is broken, it’s hard to move past that.
For some people, relationships can recover and become stronger than ever, while in other cases, relationships can fail again and heartbreak all over again. It’s a very difficult topic, which is why it’s so interesting to discuss and research.
When talking to people who have actually been unfaithful, the key is this feeling of “something is missing” that seems to come up again and again. The idea is that something is missing from their lives, and the new person fills it. This is often based on desire, rather than the logic of filling a void in life, because life and relationships can sometimes get boring if you don’t keep things fresh, and bringing in a new person seems to solve that problem.
A relationship can languish temporarily, and the romance falter, until suddenly a possible alternative romance emerges, and something inside is ignited, creating an illusion of perfection outside of the romantic relationship. The “new for the old, old for the new” attitude led them astray.
But I want to hear from you. Have you ever been cheated on? Do you forgive them? Or do you forgive them, but they cheat on you again? Whatever happens, let us know!
